Wall Street Announces New Hiring Initiative for English Graduates, Pay Commensurate with TOP CEO Compensation

Credit: Wall Street Journal

(New York, New York) April 18, 2019

Top Wall Street executives are pleased to announce their new initiative to hire English graduates. This enterprise includes filling all open positions at Wall Street with English graduates for the next 18 months—from treasury positions, to credit analysis, to a soon-to-open Vice President position. Pay for these roles are highly competitive compared to what many English majors face upon graduating with many offering compensation proportionate to top CEOs.

“It has come to our attention jut how beneficial having English graduates on our team will vastly improve our overall workflow,” employment manager, Jeff Imaginär says. “These potential hires will bring a unique perspective that the economic sphere currently does not have. How can we write an engaging report on the bond market? Is it ‘their’ or ‘there?’ Can we finally explain to the public what hedge funds are? We hope to answer all these questions, and more, with English graduates in our corner.”

This push comes from the recent shift in the job market to hire liberal arts students in the unlikeliest of positions for their perspective. Employment opportunities for English graduates are popping up at hospitals, research labs, and coal mines across the nation. Many of them are high paying, two words English graduates thought they would never hear in relation to their career choice.

“When I got my degree in 18^th century literature, I never dreamed I’d be applying for a job at Wall Street,” Jemma Faux, a recent graduate from Columbia says, “but it beats teaching. I’ll do anything to never set foot in a classroom again.”