Credit: National Post
(Bronx, New York) December 28, 2018
Polk Elementary in New York City’s Bronx announces an education surplus among their kindergarten through fifth grade students. According to the student board, teachers are struggling to keep up with their pupils’ impressive gains in knowledge. In just half a school year, over 85% of classrooms have finished the textbook that took previous classes a year to finish, and educators are scratching their heads about what should be done next.
We don’t know what happened,” Principle Shania Weatherby says. “Maybe it’s something in the water. We are going to have to invest in more engaging material, because no matter what our teachers put in front of their kids, they are blowing through it. We’re having a hard time keeping up.”
Principle Weatherby reports that kindergarteners are reading Little House on the Prairie, third graders are reading Romeo and Juliet, and fifth graders are powering through Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot.
It has been proposed that college professors take turns coming in to assist these teachers, but whether or not that will happen, the school district is unsure if they can get the funding. For now, they have to find ways to keep their students busy in the new year.
One parent reports she was concerned when her nine-year-old daughter came home with what appeared to be Pre-Calculus homework. “I asked her, ‘Do you know what this is?’” Stephanie Watson said, “and she said, ‘Come on, Mommy, it’s not rocket science.”
While every parent claims their child is the most brilliant one on the face of the earth, it seems the parents of these 800 students truly may be. For more information on the Bronx public schools, visit.